I can’t decide if I did pretty great last week, or if I completely failed…Of course, this is not very surprising, considering my all or nothing thinking. I have exceedingly high expectations, and set lofty goals, so- although it is often difficult for me to achieve what I set out to do, in this case, I suppose just getting close is still pretty healthy. Either that, or I am making excuses for fucking up. I can’t really tell, and it’s hard to be sure when I am the one judging me, so…maybe I just won’t judge. Maybe I will just tell you how the week went, and what I learned.
I tracked my calorie intake every day last week, stopping abruptly midday Saturday. You want to know why? Movie theatre popcorn with extra butter, and plain M&M’s. Listen, people- I am a mere mortal. I go to the movies maybe once every two months, and when I do, I am not trying to skip the popcorn, or the M&M’s…the perfect ratio per mouthful of pure chocolate-salty bliss? One small handful of popcorn to two or three M’s. Trust me on this. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. But I DO wish I would have been brave enough to keep tracking. I had a weird moment on Thursday when I was unaccountably hungry and went a full meals worth of calories over my daily goal, but I still tracked every morsel. And felt horrible the next day, too. Not guilty, physically ill. Being healthy makes your body reject less worthy foods.
I’m not sure what happened yesterday. I didn’t even eat until about two o’clock (already a major faux pas in the metabolism game) because I just wasn’t hungry. But then…I went to a work barbecue, and have I mentioned that all of the people in my office are flat out phenomenal cooks? Yep. I think the burger, guacamole, Frito salad, and few other bites of stuff I had would have kept me under my calorie goal. It was the forty pound piece of homemade coconut flan that may have put me over the top. Not a great idea to let one meal finish you off for the day, but that was the only meal I ate (I couldn’t have eaten more if I’d wanted to) so perhaps it wasn’t too bad. No, it was. That was pretty bad.
As far as exercise goes, I did forget to add in a couple of days of rest when I was making my goal list. Good thing I went ahead and just took those, anyway! All in all, I would say that my exercise last week was pretty darn good. I may not have made my hour goal daily, but I came pretty close most days, and I was pretty creative about it, as well. I am going to write a little more about that later this week. I took two days off- Thursday (because I woke up late for work) and yesterday, because of no reason. But two days off is fine. So I feel okay about that.
Lets talk about smoking for a minute- I did really great for six days this past week, and then, I had a stressful afternoon on Saturday, and I caved. Now, cigarettes are different than the rest of this stuff- you see, smoking is not something I ever HAVE to do, unlike eating. I could look at it like “well, I went five entire days without smoking, and so I smoked a lot less than normal” and essentially, that is true, BUT…smoking doesn’t work like that. This is one of those times when my all or nothing thinking is correct- you either smoke or you don’t smoke. No shortcuts. So, I am back on that wagon again, but I have to tell you the truth- of all of the areas where I am trying to improve, this one is the one that I feel the least confident in. Smoking scares me, and continuously struggling to quit, and failing- it scares me, too. But I will keep at it.
So, all in all, it was a pretty good week, I guess. I am adjusting my exercise routine to include two days of rest, which days, I haven’t yet decided. My goal this week is to track every single day, work out every day except my rest days, and not to smoke at ALL. My bigger goal is this, though: To remember that I am doing all of this stuff so that I feel good about myself, and part of feeling good about yourself is enjoying what is right in front of you…sometimes that is a fitness instructor in your body pump class. Sometimes it is a forty pound piece of homemade coconut flan. 🙂